After Tristan became one year old, it felt like there’s no update to add every month. Not saying that there’s nothing new every month – I rather mean that the first year (specially for a first-time mother) is more significant and the following years tend to pass by rather quickly. This time I’d write briefly about the changes that this passed year has brought.
Tristan is 1 year and 2,5 months old at the moment and since he was born, so many things have changed. Additional to the obvious – taking care of a little human being – I would point out these matters:
* I have understood that there’s no point to make any long-term plans which consider raising your baby. For example, I thought that Tristan would be sleeping in his own bed in his own room by the age of six months. Well, reality was that he started sleeping in his own room after becoming one year old. Another “wild thought” was that we planned going on a trip with my friends, leaving Tristan home with Sandor, after Tristan’s first birthday. Okay, that would be possible, but I cannot image now how could I be so far away for such a long time (for a week). Illusions!
* The importance of time for yourself. As much as I love Tristan with all of my heart, I still do need time for myself. I don’t expect much, I’m just happy when I can take a long hot shower/bath/sauna, go to the cafe with my friends or when possible, go to the movies with Sandor. Just a few hours away from being a full-time Mom.
* Noticing other kids. When someone asked if I wanted to hold their baby, I probably shook my head and said ‘No thanks, I’m good’. The babies were cute but I didn’t prefer to take them into my arms – I don’t know whether I was afraid to or because I didn’t understand why should I do that. Anyway, after Tristan was born, this attitude has changed. I love holding babies, they are just so adorable!
* The most difficult time for me after Tristan was born was the first 3-4 months. First of all, it took some time to get used to the fact that I have to be there for the little guy all day long every single day (and nights as well, doh). It’s in humans nature to adapt yourself with the present situation and now it even feels a bit embarrassing to confess this afterwards – ofcourse you should be prepared for being a Mom 24/7 when expecting a baby, but still it kind of hit me when I didn’t get to do the things I was so used to.
* When being pregnant I said that there’s so much love inside of me that I’m sure there’s plenty of it to share with Sandor and my baby. That’s still true, but what I did not know was that all the love inside of me could be even MORE BIGGER than I thought it was. Really, sometimes it feels like I’m just going to explode by the happiness and joy that both of my men bring to me. That’s just something really difficult to describe. Yes, there are many difficult times, but just be aware that all the beauty is even more beautiful than you can imagine.
These are the most considerable changes for me. But you know, life is all about changes and how well we can adjust. Happy are those people who see the beauty in the present moment. Lots of love and happiness! 😘